


The Funny Thing About Doubt (Working Title)

by Anxiety (Minnowshadow)



Series: Unnamed Roman Angst Series [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Aromantic, Aromantic Asexual Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Aromantic Sleep | Remy Sanders, Asexual Character, Asexual Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Child Abandonment, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Homophobia, Homophobic Slurs, How Do I Tag, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It gets dark, Janus has a snake, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poor Roman, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Protective Logic | Logan Sanders, Protective Morality | Patton Sanders, Rape/Non-con Elements, Remus was gonna take a back seat, Remus-dark, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Swearing, Tags May Change, Trans Character, Trans Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, Trauma, Unhealthy Relationships, Unsympathetic OC, Virgil and Janus both have pets, Virgil has a spider, but then I decided 'nah', he and Janus are kinda like Remy and Roman, hopefully, i made this at like 3 am, i'm sorry roman, idk what else to put, its a paper-to-screen thingy, no beta we die like men, should I add Emile?, so it'll be better than my other stories, what about it?, yes i changed the ships, you'll understand when they show up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:27:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 5,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22045600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minnowshadow/pseuds/Anxiety
Summary: The words were about before he could stop them…and he never saw his dear brother again...(AKA Remus says something he really didn't mean, and gets Roman in troubleAngst ensues)(Oh and Remus is Trans and his old name was Renesmee. Something you should remember)(Oh, and if you feel like I need to add in a tw, please kindly let me know. If you are nice about it "hey, can you tag 'this', it makes me uncomfortable", yep! If you are rude "why didn't you tag 'this'??" then, no. Not until you decide to ask me NICELY)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Original Character(s), Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Unnamed Roman Angst Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586863
Comments: 24
Kudos: 79





	1. Prologue AKA Sorry, Ro :(

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Coby_Thinks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coby_Thinks/gifts).



> To Coby_Thinks,  
> You might be wondering why I chose this particular plot when it has nothing to do with any of your works at all.  
> Well, two reasons. Reason number two is revealed in chapter one. And reason number one is because I thought of this almost immediately after reading your L.A.W. series, which seems like perfect inspiration to me!  
> ~Minnow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> Implied Rape/Non-Con  
> Child Abandonment  
> Homophobia  
> Trans Remus [ftm}  
> Transphobia (kinda but it's still there, and I feel like you all deserve a warning :D)  
> Implied Child Abuse  
> Sad Remus  
> Good Mom  
> Bad Dad  
> Swearing
> 
> (Remus' Deadname: "Re-nees-me" [but it's spelt weird])

Remus didn’t mean it.

Roman knew this.

But he also didn’t.

That’s the funny thing with doubt. Once it grasped onto something, it never let go.

The two were having their traditional after-dinner fight when it happened.

It was simple stuff, really.

Like, “I know you use up all the hot water!” (To Roman)

And, “I know you lied about breaking the vase!” (To Remus)

But Remus was having a bad day. And he said something he didn’t mean to…

“I know you’re gay-” Remus’ hand flew to his mouth in shock and in an attempt to stop himself, but it was too late.

Their dad, known for his hatred of the LGBTQ+ community, was on his feet in an instant. “Caroline, take Renesmee upstairs.” He ordered, his voice deathly cold, “Roman and I need to have a little talk.”

Concern for her first twin made her hesitate, but fear for her second twin made her take him upstairs.

The next thirty minutes were  _ Hell _ for both twins.

Remus, with not knowing what was going on and for hearing his brother’s screams.

Roman with… just with what was happening to him. He tried so hard… but he was so much bigger… and it hurt so much…

Remus was anxiously waiting in his room with his mom, holding Roman’s red varsity jacket that he stole close around his shoulders.

In revenge, Roman had stolen Remus’. Not that anyone cared. It was hard enough to tell them apart as it is.

“Wh-” Remus tried, but his voice cracked. He tried again, “What’s happening to Roro, Mom?” he asked.

“Y-You don’t want to know, Renesmee,” she said, giving him a sad look.

“Don’t call me that, please! I-I don’t like it. I-I don’t wanna be a girl… I hate being a girl…” Remus burst out, sobbing uncontrollably.

Caroline went over and comforted her dau-son. “I hope, for your sake, you never tell your father.”

Remus looked up, tears still streaking down his face, “B-But maybe we-”

Caroline broke him off as she shook her head, “Your brother would kill you if you willingly put yourself through what he’s going through right now. Roman cares far too much about you.” She said, wincing as she imagined what her poor first-born was going through.

After she finished talking, she had grabbed Remus’ neon green pen.

“Caroline! Get Roman’s stuff. Renesmee, stay in your room, okay sweetie?!” Remus’ ‘father’ (dick he had to live with was more appropriate) called.

Roman had stopped screaming. Now, only a few sobs were heard, which were quickly silenced with a loud, resounding  **_smack_ ** .

Caroline came back only once. To give Remus a bright red pen, one of Roman’s.

Something far more obvious than identical jackets to remember him bye.

What exactly happened with Roman and his father?

Roman only told one person (before this story starts/picks up).

But let’s just say Roman had physical, and mental, scars and more than a few bruises.

A few hours later, and poor, 15-year-old Roman was left in a strange room, bleeding from… everywhere, it seemed, with tears running down his cheeks and a box.

One, single box. That’s all his mother had managed to give him.

That’s his entire 15 years of life.

A box.

And what did he do wrong?

**_He liked boys._ **


	2. Chapter One AKA REMY IS AMAZING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy is an all-powerful Deity in Roman's eyes by this point :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Logic: It's getting late, we should sleep.  
> My Anxiety (also my competitiveness): BUT HE *referring to my brother* is not going to sleep!  
> Logic: Bu-  
> My Imagination: We also should get this chapter out before we forget about it!  
> Logic: ... FINE! DO WHAT YOU WANT! BUT WHEN OUR HOST IN UNABLE TO FUNCTION IN THE MORNING, DON'T BLAME ME!!! *storming out*  
> My Morality: *to Imagination and Anxiety* post it, quickly. *to Logic* L! *running after them*  
> Anxiety: Quick!  
> Imagination: *hesitating* What if we held them in suspense? At least for a sleep.  
> Anxiety: I swear to God, either you click that button or I will. Besides, it'll be a good few weeks before our host actually gets around to writing the next chapter. Plenty of time for suspense.  
> Imagination: FIINE! *clicks it* THERE! HAPPY NOW?!  
> Anxiety: Yup! Now, time to get to work *cracks knuckles*
> 
> Warnings:  
> Homophobic slurs  
> Rape/Non-con  
> Eating Disorders  
> Homophobia  
> Implied Self-Harm  
> Nightmares  
> Depression  
> Remy is awesome™

Roman soon became popular, as one would expect, as he tried to put his father behind him.

But that didn’t stop the rumors.

One day, as he was going to walk down the second flight of stairs, he was pulled into an abandoned room. The door facing the hallway, the only escape besides the window on the other side of the room, clicked shut.

Roman wasn’t worried at first. In fact, he felt like he was floating.

He turned around to find a boy.

And… fuck. He was cute.

  1. **stop it.**



Trying to still his voice, Roman said, “Can I help you?” 

He was still trying to remember what breathing was when the boy spoke, “Am I cute?” he burst out.

Without thinking, Roman said, “You are _adorable_.”

And that’s when shit hit the fan.

The boy smirked. _Fuck. That was never a good sign._ “So you _are_ gay, huh, Prince? Wait until I tell the entire orphanage that Roman Rey, the Prince, was gay!” he cackled, reaching for the door handle.

Again, Roman didn’t think when he called out, “Wait! No! I’ll do anything! Don’t!”

The boy froze, his smirk growing. “Anything? If so, meet me here, between dinner and curfew, every day. Don’t miss it or everyone will know about the fag Roman Rey.”

And, in fear, Roman did.

It was _Hell_. The boy, Patton, used him.

Whenever Patton didn’t want to do anything, Roman did it.

All the while whispering taunts and insults in his ear.

After a month of hearing them, over and over again, he began to think.

That’s when the voice grew from a whisper to a yell.

But all thoughts flew out the window when… **_it_** happened.

Patton was running late and Roman thought he was good to leave when Patton burst in and threw Roman to the ground with his super-human strength, cracking Roman’s skull against the wooden floors of the room.

In an instant, both pairs of pants were off. And he did… **_it_ **.

 **_It_ ** only happened once a week, but every other time, Roman did Patton’s work as the latter added to or amplified Roman’s bad voice, which Roman had come to accept as the truth.

He knew it was horrible, but he couldn’t help it. He knew so much worse would happen if the rest of his peers found out. So he took it. He took all of the hate, loathing, and everything else Patton threw at him.

He took it for three years until he somehow got a scholarship for an acting school, but he wasn’t good enough to be an actual actor, so he only took it as a minor, taking the far less look-requiring major of writing.

By this point, he was deep in cutting, anorexia, and depression.

That’s when his light at the end of the tunnel appeared.

Remmington Clarke. Remy for short.

Remy soon became Roman’s best friend and not soon after, Remy casually told him they were non-binary, which caused Roman to freak out because of how casually Remy told him and Roman to realized how messed-up his dad was.

Roman confessed all his feelings to Remy, who declared him to be Asexual and Polyamorous.

It was then that Roman became fully invested in LGBTQ+ and attended several pride marches.

He would gladly show you all of his LGBTQ+ pins if you asked how many he had, but he mainly wore his ace and poly flags. (Except in June. He wore them ALL. Remy is always proud and ashamed at the same time)

Remy, Roman’s best friend for life, was Aromantic, so they developed a relationship that would look like a couple to anyone else’s eyes, but Remy always assured them it was purely platonic.

Speaking of Remy, he convinced Roman to drop almost all of his bad habits.

Roman told himself how amazing and beautiful he was each day in the morning, which seemed to dull his **voice** , he ate like a normal human being again, he started to enjoy life, he tried to go to bed on time.

But not even Remy can solve anything.

Roman still had cuts, fresh and scarred littering all across his body.

Roman still had Remus’ varsity jacket and pen, refusing, no matter what, to let them go.

Remy never asked why though. Why Roman would sometimes refuse to call them ‘Remy’ and called them ‘Sleep’ (ironic, Remy always said), why Roman avoided people called ‘Patton’ like the plague, why Roman never understood LGBTQ+ before, why Roman often woke from nightmares, desperately calling them in the night. (Remy eventually moved in with Roman to help him, them sharing a room, but with separate beds of course)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitions (all according to https://www.transstudent.org/definitions)  
> Asexual: not feeling sexual attraction, only romantic and platonic  
> Polyamorous: in which multiple people are in an open relationship (romantic or intimate), different from cheating  
> Non-Binary: "Preferred umbrella term for all genders other than female/male or woman/man"  
> Aromantic: not feeling romantic feelings, only platonic
> 
> Let me know if I missed anything or messed any definitions up!  
> Stay strong  
> ~Anx  
> (P.S. Patton in this story is not actually our Happy Pappy Patton. It's an OC I made for aNgsT  
> and when I mean the bad voice in Roman's head that says untrue hurtful things about him, I'll make it bold)


	3. Roman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS (if you like Roman) VERY IMPORTANT

OKAY  
SO  
I just finished watching some videos by Prince Alex on YT (go subscribe, they are awesome) and they brought to light something I believe is VERY PRESSING for Fanders.

ROMAN IS NOT OKAY!!!

They made an entire video predicting Roman's future and now I feel like he deserves to know he is loved and people love him

For example:

In SVS, Roman quickly takes Deceit's compliment but doesn't take his basic "i love you" as easy.

Now we all know Roman has a big ego. In fact he is Thomas' Ego.

BUT

He still hurts.

We've been out here, loving on and writing about Virgil, but we've skimmed over the fact that ROMAN MATTERS TOO!

(I am very passionate about this)

As a former Roman-hater, I feel like we should show him ALL THE LOVE!

If you want to help me, make any Roman fluff where he is told he is loved 1000x over and tag it with #HelpRoman2020 (you don't have to if you want I just think it would show our support to Roman)

WE LOVE YOU ROMAN!

Stay Strong

~Anxiety


	4. Coffee

Roman felt like death as he stood behind the bar.

He had yet another nightmare that night but decided he needed the money from working.

“Woah, gurl! You look like walking death! ‘Nother nightmare, hun?” Remy sympathetically greeted as they walked in. (Remy had to move closer to his college for the time being)

“Yeah. Your usual, Re-... Sleep?” Roman asked, not having it in him to say a name so much like his brother’s.

Remy smiled softly, their voice gentle as they said, “You know it, hun.”

Roman felt himself calm down slightly as he made the familiar drink, “My break is in ten minutes if you want to stick around.” he said, giving them their drink.

Remy looked him dead in the eye and said, “Hells yes, bitch.”

Roman scoffed and rolled his eyes playfully, going to wipe down the counters.

Roman only half-listened as Remy told him another one of their crazy-ass, surprisingly true stories.

That’s when the bell rang, signalling someone walking in.

Roman walked over to the cash registor.

They seemed in deep thought as they walked over, “Venti mocha latte, please.”

Roman nodded and grabbed the Venti cup, “Name?” he asked, hovering his marker over the side.

“Patton.” they said, giving him $10, “keep the change.

Roman took a steadying breath and rang the charge up, putting the bill where it belonged.

The making of the drink was blurred as Roman’s thoughts went 100 miles an hour.

_ All _ _ Pattons can’t be too bad, right? _

**Well, it’s much more likely** **_this_ ** **Patton will hurt you that not, so don’t get your hopes up and don’t be an idiot.**

_ Got it. _

Roman realized he finished the drink and took a deep breath, “P-Patton.”

Patton seemed a lot less distracted as they walked over, smiling, “I didn’t catch your name. What was it?” they asked, writing something down on a napkin.

Roman blushed as they shoved the napkin into his hands and he realized it was their number, “R-Roman. Roman Rey.”

Patton nodded, an adorable smile flashing on their lips, “Nice to meet you, Roman. I’m Patton Shawcross. See you around.” They grabbed their drink and left.

**You’re screwed.**

Yup.

_ But he’s cute. _

And this is why you would never survive in a horror movie.

**Exactly. Now, what was Patton’s number.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to update this once a week  
> Maybe Thursdays  
> Maybe Fridays  
> I'll figure something out  
> Stay Safe  
> ~Anx


	5. Chapter 3 AKA Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little something to note: Patton Shawcross asked Roman out on a date and this is the day before the date.

Roman anxiously paced in his living room as he waited for Remy to arrive.

Soon the enby was there, ready to comfort his brother.

Okay, not his  _ real _ brother. That guy’s a prick.

“Shh, hun. What’s wrong?” Remy asked, running their hand along Roman’s back.

Roman had burst into sobs and fallen to the floor as soon as Remy walked in the door, shaking and rocking back and forth, “Wh-What if h-he’s l-like the o-other o-one?” he asked.

Remy didn’t need an explanation to know who the ‘other one’ was. 

They smirked evilly “Well then, I'll hang his head on my wall. Besides, he  _ did _ ask you on a date. Isn’t that better than the… the other one?” they comforted, taking their sunglasses off.

It didn’t take too long for Roman to calm down enough to breathe properly.

“Where’s your bottle, honey?” Remy asked gently.

Roman gestured to an empty water bottle in a puddle, “I-It melted…”

Remy got up and put a towel on the puddle and pulled a frozen water bottle out of their bag.

Roman snatched the bottle away and pressed it onto his forearm, sighing in relief slightly.

After he calmed down more, Remy gently asked, “Are you hurt?”

Roman frowned and hesitantly pulled the water bottle down, checking his arms.

They were red and aching, but not bleeding.

Remy sighed in relief, however, they stiffened as Roman said, “Wait…”

He pulled up his shorts leg to reveal long, angry scratches welling with blood. He put the water bottle back onto his forearm.

Remy cursed and stood up, “Stay here and remember,  _ water bottle _ ,” They turned to leave but paused and adjusted the bottle, “And no hypothermia.”

Roman chuckled and switched arms, pressing the frozen bottle against his right forearm, soothing the burning slightly.

Remy soon came back and disinfected and bandaged his thighs.

Then they helped Roman choose his outfit for the date with Patton the next day and the two watched trashy T.V. and generally had a really good time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short.  
> But it's a cliffhanger.  
> And I have zero self-control when it comes to finished chapters.  
> Anxiety: Yep.  
> Imagination: Listen, I love you, but shut up.


	6. Chapter 4 AKA The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little foreshadowing...  
> a little cliffhanger...  
> a little late...

Roman bit his lip as he inspected his outfit for the date again.

A yellow-and-white striped shirt with a red scarf around his neck, blue jeans, and dark brown boots.

He sat down at his vanity and checked his makeup again.

Red lipstick, black eyeliner, mascara, and a dusting of red on his eyelids.

“You look fine, hun.” Remy assured from their spot on Roman’s bed.

Roman gave them a panicked look, “B-But what if it’s too casual, or the makeup’s too much? Is the makeup too much? Should I get rid of it!?” he reached to a makeup wipe when Remy stilled his hand.

“You’re makeup, outfit,  _ and _ hair is  _ perfect _ , hun. Don’t change a  _ thing _ ..” They soothed, grabbing both of Roman’s hands with their own.

Roman gave them a crooked half-smile and opened his mouth to say something when the doorbell rang.

He shot up, dropping Remy’s hands, “He’s  _ here _ .” he gasped, running out the room.

Remy followed more calmly as Roman threw open the door to reveal a messy mop of bright red hair and bright blue eyes.

“Patton!” Roman gasped excitedly, his eyes glowing, “Come in, come in! Patton, this is my platonic soulmate, Remy. Remy,  _ this _ . Is Patton.” he introduced, dramatically waving his hands.

Remy smiled, “Nice to meet you. I’m Remy Clarke and I’m basically Roman’s guard dog.”

“ _ Remy _ !” Roman hissed, flushing.

Remy raised their hands in defense, “Hey, you bring someone new into your life, I’m gonna want to protect you.”

Roman sighed in resignation as Remy chuckled, “Well? What are you waiting for? Go! Don’t wanna be late! Oh, and don’t hurt Roman, or your head will end up on my wall! Ciao!” they called Roman, much to Roman’s embarrassment as the enby shoved them out of Roman’s  _ own apartment _ .

Patton escorted Roman to his car and they sat in it, talking about nothing.

He drove him to a cafe, where Roman ordered a Mocha Frappuccino and Patton ordered a Caramel Frappuccino.

They drank their coffee and chatted until the employee told them to either buy something or get out.

Roman laughed as Patton sassed them right back as they left.

Patton drove Roman home and they said goodbye.

A few weeks later, Patton took Roman out for a fancier date and asked him to be his boyfriend.

Overjoyed, Roman said yes.

After a few promises (threats) from Remy, they smiled and listened as Roman gushed about Patton.

However, they found it rather difficult to push down their suspicions about him.

Something just didn’t seem…  _ right _ …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be up asap!


	7. Downhill & The Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!  
> I have no excuse for not updating besides a) school stuff and b) I was sick for like 2 weeks and it SUCKED

About two years later, Roman was cooking spaghetti in a kitchen not his own.

He hummed happily as he served it onto two round plates.

“Dinner!” he called, setting out sodas. 

Patton smiled as he walked in, “It looks delicious, Roman.”

Roman smiled back and sat down next to Patton.

“How was work?” he asked, eating a bite of noodles.

Patton groaned and launched into some deep rant about work, which Roman only half paid attention to, his mind wandering as he ate.

He was snapped back to reality when a sharp  _ slap _ caused his head to jerk to one side.

He looked back to Patton, his hand slowly reaching up to touch his face and small tears starting to slip out of his amber eyes.

Patton’s eyes were a cold fury.

“ _ Listen _ when I’m talking to you, understand?” he snapped.

Roman looked away, nodding meekly and replying, “Yes, sir.”

Patton sighed and trailed his hand along Roman's jaw, “You know I love you, right, Roman?”

Roman nodded and looked shyly at Patton from under his lashes.

Patton leaned closer, causing Roman’s body to shiver, and not in a good way.

The red-head whispered in his ear, “Why don’t I show you, my love?”

Without waiting for Roman’s consent, Patton dragged him to the bedroom.

It took all Roman had not to throw up and after Patton had fallen asleep, he ran into the bathroom and emptied his stomach of its contents.

He sat down next to the toilet and sobbed into his hands.

And sitting there, bawling his eyes out next to a toilet, Roman had a moment of clarity.

He shot up with a new purpose.

He was going to leave.

He grabbed a duffel bag and packed his electronics and notebooks into it. He shoved a couple days’ worth of food and clothing in, and left.

He wrote a note and put his key on it.

He hesitated and gently placed the ring Patton had got him on the note, blinking back tears.

As he closed the apartment door, he felt a rush of pleasure, for finally escaping, and panic.

He had lived with Patton for the past year.

He had sold his own apartment, so he couldn’t go there.

_ Remy _ .

Roman ran from the apartment building, too scared to look back.

He soon found himself in front of Remy’s apartment.

He was breathing heavily and sweating, but he was  _ free _ .

He knocked and, after a few moments, Remy answered.

They were talking to someone behind them when they turned around and froze.

“ _ Roman _ ?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO!  
> I have a Wattpad account if anyone's interested.  
> My tag is @Minnowshadow and I have a few books on there if you're interested :)  
> Though some of them are OLD  
> So don't judge me too bad?


	8. Chapter 5.5 AKA Happy Birthday Roman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place before the whole Second-Patton-Fiasco

Roman really never liked celebrating his birthday. After all, it was Remus' too.

And yet, when Remy went all out, getting him the ice cream cake, the presents, the decorations, Roman just _had_ to like it.

It soon became his favorite time of year. Not because of the presents, or the cake, but because of Remy's proud smile as they presented the gifts they had gotten him and the cake they had made from scratch.

Remy always made a chocolate-and-vanilla ice cream cake and got him a key chain.

It was never too complicated. A dog, a crown, a Disney logo.

But the year before everything changed, Roman got his favorite one. Among all the clothes, books, make-up, and other stuff, Remy had yet to give Roman the key chain. Roman didn't mind. Sure, it was strange, but Remy still did everything they could for him. A key chain wasn't too important.

But then Remy pulled out a simple key chain, like all the others. A neon green one with one word in a horror-like text. _'Remus.'_ Roman covered his mouth with his hand as gently took it.

Remy didn't say anything just smiled when Roman looked at them.

Roman immediately pulled them into a hug. "Best. Birthday. Ever." he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhh  
> I had a plan for Roman's b-day but it's like... chapter 17/18
> 
> and I'M BACK!  
> Sorry for not updating sooner  
> but transferring things from paper to pc is a BITCH to me


	9. Chapter Six - Small Fluff Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so like  
> cliffhanger  
> last real chapt.  
> but  
> whateves  
> have some more

It took a quarter of a second for everything to click in Remy’s mind.

It took a quarter of a second for Roman to collapse.

“Roman!” Remy yelped, running forward and placing a hand on Roman’s forehead. They glanced behind them at their companion, “Quick!”  **(You think I’m gonna reveal who that is? Not yet~)**

**~~~**

When Roman woke up, he knew he wasn’t at Patton’s. Even with his eyes closed, he could see the natural light. Patton never liked it, saying that it woke him up and insisting that the curtains be closed. 

The arms holding Roman were strong yet gentle, as if scared of breaking him. He burrowed himself in them more and they tightened their grip. He distantly heard an unfamiliar voice say, “Rem? He’s awake.”

Normally he would’ve panicked at hearing an unfamiliar voice, but at the moment, he just wanted to be held. “Ro? Ro, you got to wake up. I made you some grilled cheese.”

Roman grumbled slightly as he slowly opened one eye. “Grilled cheese?” he mumbled. He blinked as he tried to focus on a blurry Remy.

“Yeah, buddy.” Remy sympathetically smiled. “You just gotta wake up and get your glasses on.”

Roman smiled and closed his eye again. He shifted and slowly sat up, the arms holding him letting him go. He yawned and stretched before opening both eyes. He looked around and squinted. “Remy?”

Cold plastic was suddenly being shoved into his hands and he put his glasses on, relieved to finally have sight. “Roman. Come on.” Remy offered their hand to him and he yawned again, taking it.

Remy led him to the kitchen, where a grilled cheese and glass of milk were waiting. Roman quickly dug into it. “Hey, Rem. Are you gonna introduce me or what?” Roman froze and looked at the new person.

They had black hair and stormy gray eyes. They had purple-and-black eyeshadow and a purple-dyed fringe laid over one of their eyes. They were wearing a black hoodie with purple plaid patches, black ripped skinny jeans, and black boots with purple laces. They wore black wire glasses and a purple velvet choker and had gauges and other emo-like piercings.

Remy rolled their eyes. “I’m getting to it, babe. Roman, this is Virgil Smythe. Virgil, this is Roman Rey. Both he/him. I met Roman at college and I met Virgil at a coffee shop where he  _ totally  _ told off this homophobic dude.”

Roman’s brain was working and soon he was running into Remy’s room and pulling out his sketchbook and colored pencils. Soon he was hurriedly drawing Virgil.

Remy rolled their eyes and huffed. “You get used to this, V.”

Roman fell asleep on his sketch of Virgil a few hours later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i haven't posted much recently  
> but  
> meh  
> oh and get ready for some more angst  
> don't worry tho  
> it gets better!


	10. Random Filler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this popped into my head and I was bored, okay?

Roman sighed, bored. He got up and grabbed his phone and shoes, slipping the shoes on. He left Remy's apartment and walked to the park, where Remy said they were. Virgil had to leave, so Roman was home alone. _Not anymore..._ he thought, searching for Remy through the park. It took 5 minutes until he found Remy, talking with somebody.

As he approached, their conversation became clear. "No. I don't care, _Miranda_ -" Remy was cut off as they saw Roman. "One sec, _Miranda_." They said 'Miranda' with pure hatred before turning to Roman. "Roro, sweetie, are you okay?"

Roman almost laughed at Remy's tone change. "Just fine, Rems. So, who is this?"

Remy slung an arm around Roman. "Roro, this is _Miranda_. She saw my non-binary badge and started to be a bitch, so I was just out-bitching her. _Miranda_ , this is Roro. Roro is my queerplatonic partner."

Roman raised an eyebrow at Miranda. "So is she like... anti-LGBTQ or just anti-trans or what?"

Remy sighed. "Anti-LGBTQ, it seems. Sad, huh, Roro?"

Roman nodded, looking genuinely sad. "Yeah, Rem. She won't know the joys of staying up late, gushing about cute people, having a QPP or a QPR. Ya know, I would really hate being anti-LGBTQ. I would have to break up with you, Rems."

Remy frowned. "Yeah... And I would have to do something that makes me genuinely uncomfortable and makes me depressed."

Roman nodded along. "Me too. Wow... being anti-LGBTQ would suck!"

Miranda rolled her eyes. "You're just special snowflakes!"

Roman broke his sad-facade and snickered. "You done messed up, lady."

Miranda raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? How-"

As if on cue, Virgil showed up. "SpEciAL snOwfLaKE hUh??" The emo asked, looking _pissed_. "HoW ABOUT I ShOW You A SpEciaL SNowFlakeE!?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crappy, but impulse got the better of me-  
> (and yes Miranda mysteriously dissapeard-)  
> (sorry to any Mirandas out there-)


	11. Chapter 7 AKA He Returns (for a bit-)

When Roman woke up, he panicked at first. Until memories from the days before came back. He had his hands out in front of them and stared at them numbly. He jerked out of his stupor when a familiar knock sounded on the door.

_ Rata-tap-tap _ .

Remy stumbled out of their room wearily. “Who the fuck is here so early-” They grumbled. They opened the door and Patton burst into the rood, his bright red hair bringing a sick feeling to Roman’s stomach.

“Oh, Roman! I was so worried!” He exclaimed, running over and putting both hands on Roman’s cheeks, squishing his face.

Roman pushed his hands away. “N-No! I don’t want you to touch me! I don’t want you here. L-Leave!” He said with faux confidence.

Patton’s bright smile was soon replaced by an angry expression. “Come on, Roman. We’re going home.” He said more firmly. He grabbed Roman’s wrist tightly and tried to lift him up.

That’s when Remy stepped in. “Hey, he doesn’t want to go-”

Remy was cut off by Patton slapping him. “Shut up-”

_ Patton _ was cut off by Roman. Remy smirked. Roman punched Patton in the face. Patton stumbled back, a hand on his cleary broken nose. “Leave.” Roman growled, his amber eyes alight with anger. “Leave and never return.”

Patton stumbled back and ran out of the apartment. Remy walked over to Roman. “Hun, are you alright?”

Roman weakly smiled. “Yeah, fine.” 

Just then, Virgil walked out. “What the fuck happened while I was sleeping?” He asked. He paused and sighed. He grabbed a couple ice packs and gave one to Remy and Roman. “I swear…” He started to mumble under his breath as he put an ice pack on Remy’s check and one on Roman’s hand.

“By the way, Ro, that was unexpected but beautiful.” Remy said, taking the ice pack.

Roman huffed and took his. “Well, he decided to lay a hand on my family, what would you expect?” After a moment, he said, “I love you, Remy.”

Remy smiled. “Love you too, hun.” They turned to Virgil. “He has really strong older brother instincts-”

“He- REMY!”


	12. Chapter 8 AKA Oop?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No TWs for this chapter

A few days later, Virgil and Remy had to leave, so they called Logan, one of Virgil’s boyfriends, to look after him. Roman and Logan watched the two leave from the living room before talking. “Do you wish to watch a movie?” Logan asked.

Logan was pretty polite and Roman actually liked him. Despite how nerdy he could be. Logan had dark skin, dark hair, and dark eyes. He had dark blue-dyed hair pulled back in a quiff. According to Logan and Virgil, hair dying is a Thing for them. He was wearing a black polo with a blue starry tie, blue jeans, and black dress shoes. He had thick-rimmed glasses and a few freckles across his nose.

Roman got up and walked over to the movies Remy had, smirking evilly when he saw that they didn’t get rid of the Marvel movies. “I have the perfect idea.”

The two watched Marvel movies all day, Logan easily loving Tony Stark, despite his many flaws. Roman’s personal favorite was Natasha. A badass woman that could take care of herself easily? Yes please! They were just getting started on the first Avengers, having watched all of the backstory movies first, when Remy and Virgil showed back up. “Roman!”

Roman had no trouble looking away from the movie. He knew the movies by heart after all. “Yeah, Remy?”

Remy walked into the living room with Virgil and someone else. The new person had tan skin, bright, beautiful green eyes, and a face full of freckles. Their light brown hair was rather long and curly, though it didn’t go past their ears, and it was dyed light blue on the ends. They had a royal blue polo on with khakis, dress shoes, and a gray cardigan wrapped around their shoulders. “What are you watching?” Virgil asked as Logan paused the movie.

“Avengers.” Logan answered before turning to give the others his full attention.

“Who’s this?” Roman curiously asked. He had a pretty good idea, from the way Virgil and Logan looked at them and from their dyed hair.

Virgil smiled. “Roman, this is my and Logan’s other boyfriend. Pat, meet Roman.”  _ Pat? No.. it can’t be… The universe can’t be that cruel.  _ “Roman, meet Patton Hart.”

_ Apparently the universe is that cruel. _ Roman felt his breath leave him as New-Patton bounced. “Hi, kiddo! So nice to meet you!”

Roman shot up and ran, the door slamming behind him.

Remy sighed. “Told ya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YUP!  
> I WOULD BE THAT CRUEL!  
> ANOTHER PATTON!  
> Is this the real Patton? HAH, LIKE I'M GONNA SAY!
> 
> On a more serious note, I will be trying to update more this year.  
> I love y'all n stay safe <3


	13. Chapter 9 - AKA WeLl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda graphic depiction of self-harm? It's one sentance. It's the first sentence in the paragraph after Patton says "Oh my gosh!"
> 
> (Fun fact: In the draft, Patton cursed-)  
> (oh and an update on updating (heh) in the end notes)

Remy anxiously looked after Roman. “I should go check up on him, but I think that would be too soon. I’ll get him for dinner.” They sat down on the couch next to Logan.

Virgil nodded. “Okay. If you say so, Remy.” He sat down on the other side of Logan, playing the movie, but still anxiously biting his lip. 

Patton wasn’t so easily sedated. “Um, wh-where’s the bathroom, Remy?”

Remy narrowed their eyes at him, clearly already knowing what Patton was going to do and weighing the options in their mind before turning back to the tv. “Down the hall, first door on your left.” They pulled out their phone and started to scroll through it.

Patton nodded and went to the bathroom. However, on his way back, he hesitated outside the room he swore he saw Roman run into. He took a deep breath and knocked. “Er, Kiddo? It’s Patton, can I come in?”

There was no sound from the room and Patton felt a flash of fear. He was worried about Roman and when you’re worried, you don’t always make the best options. Despite knowing that he could freak Roman out even more, he opened the door. “I’m coming in, okay, Roman?”

Roman was lying on his bed. He was breathing, but something seemed… wrong. Patton anxiously bit his lip before reaching over. “Kiddo?” He rolled Roman over and gasped in shock. “Oh my gosh!”

Roman was lying in a puddle of blood, slashes all over his arm and a knife in one hand. His eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow.

Patton was having a hard time breathing, eyes wide with fear. He stumbled back and knocked over a trash can, which sent him crashing to the ground. He couldn’t tear his gaze off of Roman, even when the crashing made a loud sound and his ankle was screaming at him, tears falling down his face. 

He was speechless as Virgil, Logan, and Remy ran into the room. “Oh my god-” Virgil was next to him instantly. “Remy, call 911, Logan, put your first aid skills to use.”

Patton turned and buried his face into Virgil’s hoodie as Remy and Logan listened. Remy, Logan, and Virgil all had pale faces as they looked at Roman, begging every deity not to take Roman. “Okay, they’re on their way.” Remy spoke, putting his phone away. “They said to try and stop the bleeding.”

Logan nodded. “I’m doing that.” He gritted his teeth.

They all watched Roman’s shallow breaths and gently rising chest, hoping that each breath wasn’t his last. Finally, the paramedics ran in. One took over for Logan, who had his hands covered in blood and was sweating a little. He had suceeded in getting a few wounds to stop bleeding, but not that many. 

A couple paramedics ran over to Patton, who loudly protesting. “Go help Roman! I’m fine!”

Eventually, one gave up. “Alright, how about I go help Roman while my partner helps you? How about that?”

Patton hesitated before nodding. The paramedic ran over to help Roman. The paramedic left helping Patton got him into an ambulance, of course after Roman was in his and had already left. Remy stayed by Roman’s side, Virgil rode with Patton, and Logan followed with a car and everyone’s stuff. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh...  
> sorry for not updating sooner.  
> I promise I'm working on updating more often.  
> Because school is a Bitch, I can only update on the weekends and so far, all I've got is on Saturday (Sunday if I have to do shit on Saturday) I'll update and it'll be once every two weeks bc i have another story. I'm going to start with this and hopefully move onto once a week. Maybe by the time I think I can move onto twice a week, school'll stop being such a BiTcH and I don't have to update Saturday and Sunday ;-;

**Author's Note:**

> This story is dedicated to anyone who's parents have failed them and to Coby_Thinks, my new favorite author!  
> Stay Strong  
> ~Anx


End file.
